Deconstructing Disappointment
Foremost, may today be blessed for all Mothers, Mothers-in-spirit, and all who have been and are being blessed with Motherly love. It brought us here, it shines in our hearts and it holds us and our loves forever.
Yoga Foundation had to postpone our Grenada retreat due to a health crisis, including hospitalization, that Danielle is experiencing. We deeply apologize to all our students who were packed and ready (we were too). And we thank you for your understanding, thoughtfulness and compassion and generosity meanwhile your imagination of snorkling, waterfalls, dreamy beaches and sanga faded into the harsh reality of unpacking your bags. And if you were having date conflicts, let’s remedy that and meet in Grenada in the future, for our rescheduled retreat.
"We get what we need" is a hard one to swallow. Viewing our life circumstances through any other lens causes compounded suffering. Suffering can be a hole that perpetually digs itself or a pivot point for a mind/body/behavior/emotional/life healing, once the shock of the crisis settles a bit. I pushed so hard through my symptoms to prevent disappointment until the learning set in: you have to put your health first. It’s my first dharma if I am to fulfill all my others, short and long term. If I focused on how disappointed everyone would be that I cancelled the retreat within 12 hours of us leaving for the airport, consequences would have been grave and grim for me. When I accepted my illness rather than suppressed it and connected to my real-time, present moment reality and dharma and svadharma-s, the decision made itself. And my illness escalated, as it needed to, here, in the relative comfort zone near to my doctors and hospital instead of in Grenada. Phew.
There’s a link between disappointment and dharma. Dharma is our main responsibility. Svadharma-s are our personal responsibilities. Staying strongly connected to these life purposes deflects disappointment. Otherwise, when we lose ourselves in memory and imagination, both of which can estrange us from a brighter mental outlook, we can drown in the wrath of unmet expectations.
On the flip side, we can reroute ourselves and pause meanwhile challenges unfold. Taking a step by step approach helps us to hold ourselves as we struggle, knowing that śraddha fluctuates, that the vasana of courage and conviction has been building within, and that its emergence is inevitable, with the correct, personal practice and interpersonal connections.